Saturday, July 13, 2019

Bang

I wish I could just bang my head once again

Forget you one more time

And this time

I wouldn't try to make my memories of you come back, I wouldn't hurt my head that hurt my heart this much, just to remember you

I wish

I could turn back time

Again

I want to try again
Lets call it my last attempt
Before I am going home for a long time

Before my heart change, because it always failed getting its chance

You should understand

I try hard for you

Patah

Kau denger bunyi
retak-retak itu?

Aku tahu hatiku
sedang patah

patah jadi dua,
tiga,
empat

banyak
banyak sekali

tapi kau tidak tahu itu

____

Bintaro,
sekitar pukul 2 pagi
di tempat tidurmu
tapi tidak ada kau di sampingku

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

This is Stupid

I want to kill myself so bad.

But I am afraid He will just throw me to  hell without questioning me anymore.

Well, a short "are you okay" will be nice.

Reach Out

Why didnt you reach out?, you asked.

I did, but when I tried, countless times, you didnt even try to listen.

But when I stepped back, you become so curious, sadly not because you missed me.

You called, I got shock,

Did you finally looking for me? My lil stupid hope.

Nope,  you said you need your stuff.

It seems like you have some nice plan for holiday.

Really hope you will have some nice holiday there.

You are right that the life I live now is not what people should have.

But what could I ask for?

You leave.

just like what they did.